


I actually looked up 'how to hit it off"

by bruisingknees



Series: I actually looked up 'how to hit it off' [1]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 19:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19447792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruisingknees/pseuds/bruisingknees
Summary: David is everyone's designated wingman and Matteo gets jealous, basically.





	I actually looked up 'how to hit it off"

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the brilliant song "Soap" by San Scout
> 
> I once saw an ask on tumblr that went something like "What are Matteo and David like when they're jealous?" and this person replied something along the lines of: "Matteo would pout, and David would be angry" and lol I carried that with me. I started writing this a while ago and figured now was the time to take it off the shelves and dust it off - hope you like it!

To claim that they, as a group, have game would be a lie.

When you think about it, out of all of them, Jonas is probably the best at picking up girls. Matteo used to absolutely hate it. He still remembers lying awake at night thinking about it. It used to sting so much, back when he was confused about his feelings in general and his feeling for Jonas in particular. 

Things are different now, obviously. He has David and David has him.

Jonas is different too, more careful about people’s feelings and his own feelings, maybe. A little more guarded and a little less sure. They’re all different though. They’ve grown up a bit, after all. They’re all a little older and a little bit wiser.

And yet they’re still pretty hopeless at getting a date.

It still baffles Matteo sometimes that Carlos managed to make it work with Kiki. It’s almost as baffling as the fact that Matteo managed to convince David to give him a shot, but here they are.

He doesn’t see their relationships as a reflection on his ability to flirt and charm though. If it’d been down to that, Matteo’s sure he’d still be single. Luckily David was able to look past all his _fumbling_ and see something there that he liked. Matteo likes to imagine that David was charmed by it, though. When he says something silly or stupid just to make David laugh and David _does_ , that’s when Matteo believes that his brand of charm does work on David, at least.

David, though. David’s got game.

It’s not that Matteo is surprised by this, exactly. Matteo himself was obviously charmed by him from the get go. People always describe falling in love like butterflies in your belly, but Matteo often felt like there were ants crawling inside his chest. He could feel them running up his throat and trickling down his ribs. David made him feel like his skin was too tight, and his lungs too small. So yeah, obviously Matteo, of all people, knows that David’s got something about him that draws you in.

But that was then, and yeah, they’ve all grown up a bit over the past six months, but David didn’t just grow up - he also grew so much more confident. Alongside his confidence he’s developed this easy charm. David walks through a room, like nothing can touch him sometimes, and it’s so fucking amazing to see. 

It’s not just that David is charming, because he is, but he’s also genuinely really good at picking people up. It’s the confidence. And the big eyes, probably, and the great smile. Then there’s also the fact that he’s super funny and great at making conversation.

This isn’t even just Matteo gushing over his boyfriend. David is _objectively_ speaking actually really good at this whole thing. He just gets people to open up. Chances of a random stranger spilling their whole life story to David are always pretty high. David is that stranger on the train people just tell everything to. David is that tourist in France, vendors give free oysters to. He always charms people into giving them extra sauce at restaurants, or a free refill at the coffee shops. 

David gets people interested, is the thing.

Once their friends figure this out, David becomes their secret weapon.

The first time David’s true wingman potential comes out, they’re at a house party at Hanna’s. Abdi is down in the dumps over not getting the time of day from this girl he’s had his eyes on, and David just walks up to her. He must talk Abdi up to high heavens because before any of them really know what’s going on, Abdi’s making out with her in some corner.

“What did you _say to her_?” Carlos demands for the fifth time in three minutes.

“Nothing special,” David insists. “I know her from class last semester, and I told her Abdi’s a good guy and he did all the important parts himself.”

Nobody believes for even a second that Abdi did all the important parts himself.

The girls use David’s powers as well, David is a very nondiscriminatory wingman. He sets up Sam with a guy she likes, who works at the movie theater. He helps Leonie get a date with someone she met in college. He helps Hans go out with a dragqueen at a show Hans takes them to for his birthday. He even assists Jonas, of all people, on a night out, getting him a pretty brunette’s phone number.

It’s a strange thing to see his boyfriend saunter up to random people to get them interested in sleeping with one of their friends. 

The rest of the guys are in constant awe over it. David’s risen in their esteem until he’s reached near God-like status, it seems. They keep asking David how he does it, but David’s always vague and somehow they seem to respect him even more for it. They call it David’s trade secrets. Matteo calls them idiots.

Matteo is happy for his friends, and he’s happy about how seamlessly David has been able to integrate into the group. It’s just unsettling sometimes, to see David chat up a stranger. Touch their shoulder and laugh at their jokes. It's not _like that_ , though, and Matteo knows it's not like that. And, really, he's happy it's working out so well for everyone.

\---

They’re at an open-mic event at a bar and Abdi’s set his sights on someone.

Jonas has been branching out, trying to perform a little here and there with some of his original songs. He gets nervous and it’s a little funny to see, but it also low-key stresses Matteo out because he feels like he has to constantly keep an eye out on the audience to make sure nobody is rude to his best friend. Not that there’s much he could do if someone was a dick and heckled Jonas, aside from make an ass out of himself, which probably just adds to Matteo’s stress.

Jonas is genuinely good though, and after every performance Matteo is reminded that there’s nothing he actually has to worry about. Jonas’ got this.

It’s a Thursday evening and the open mic event started early enough that people were still sober enough to enjoy the entertainment, but late enough that a lot of people were out from work already and were at least two beers in. Jonas is up near the beginning of the evening and he absolutely kills it. The guys have a table near the stage and they cheer on their friend, but not too enthusiastically, cause apparently that’s embarrassing. They still whoop for him and give him a standing ovation at the end of his performance though. Jonas doesn’t even scold them for it after, that’s how well it went.

It’s actually a pretty nice bar, they’ve been here a couple of times now and some of the regulars have started remembering Jonas. They, in return, have also started getting to know some of the regulars – and that’s how Abdi’s found his next girl to make eyes at.

She has long blond hair, and she’s wearing a sparkly dress and very high heels. Even in those shoes it’s obvious that she’s a very short girl. Apparently Abdi talked to her for two minutes on his way to the bathroom last time they were here and now he's desperate to talk to her again.

They’ve been talking about her for the past ten minutes now, and Matteo is ready to be done with it.

He doesn’t mind giving his friend a peptalk, especially when it comes to romance. The guys were so great when he was going through all his stuff with David last spring, and Matteo does want Abdi to find someone and be disgustingly in love and happy. It's just that, more importantly, he wants Abdi to shut up about it already. 

“Go talk to her then,” Matteo doesn’t know if he should groan or laugh.

“Not without David,” Abdi rolls his eyes. 

“Think about how proud you’d make him if you managed to do this all by yourself,” Matteo suggests.

“No,” Carlos says. “Abdi’s got a point. That girl’s seriously hot, he should wait for David.”

Matteo rolls his eyes and looks at Jonas for support, but Jonas just kind of shrugs and says: “I mean, they’ve got a point.”

Matteo lets it drop because they won’t let this go anyway. Feels like it’s the same thing every week.

David arrives at the crowded bar about ten minutes later. He’s wearing an absolutely ridiculous shirt, but like always he's really making it work. 

“Hi boys,” David greets them, walking over to Matteo for a hug and to claim the chair they saved for him.

“How was work?” Matteo asks him.

“Good,” David nods, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry I missed the show, Jonas.”

“That’s cool, man. You’re going to be there next weekend, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” David says. 

They do their dumb little handshake and David asks: “But how did it go? Break any more hearts?”

Before Jonas can answer though, Abdi interrupts them with a: “David, finally, I’ve been waiting.” 

“I’ve missed you too,” David laughs. 

“There’s a girl,” Abdi starts.

“Isn’t there always a girl?” David asks Matteo. Matteo rolls his eyes. 

“Always,” he agrees.

“Shut up,” Abdi says. “You guys are all loved up already, us singles still have to work for it.”

“Except _you_ don’t want to work for it,” Matteo says. “You want my boyfriend to work for it.”

“He isn’t wrong,” Jonas says.

“Yeah, but David is just so good at it,” Carlos says. “He’s like Doctor love. It’d be a shame, and a waste of his potential, not to use him. 

David takes a sip from Matteo’s beer, but doesn’t discourage the guys.

"Who do you have your eye on then?” He asks.

Abdi points her out and David does a little whistle. “Okay.”

“Okay? What do you think my chances are?”

“What do you think I can do?” David asks, “Read people’s auras? I don’t know what your chances are, I haven’t even talked to her yet, have I?”

“So you’ll talk to her?” Abdi looks like his birthday came early.

“Get me a drink first, and we’ll see,” David says. The other guys all pipe up, saying they want a refill as well, and soon Abdi and Jonas are making their way to the bar for more beers.

The place is getting seriously packed by this point, and Matteo can hardly see them make their way through the crowd.

\---

True to his word David doesn’t even finish his drink before he’s agreeing to walk up to the girl. Matteo drags his index finger through the condensation on his glass.

“Wish me luck,” David says, getting up from his seat and ruffling Matteo’s hair. “Abdi, you know the drill.” 

“You wave me over, I come over!” Abdi nods comically.

“Try not to trip this time,” Carlos teases him. Abdi flips him off, before looking back to David, who’s now making his way towards the girl. Matteo watches him go as well, keeping his eyes locked on David’s back as he tries to find a way through all the people crowding together at the bar.

It’s not like David goes over there to _flirt_ with these people. From what he’s heard, David really does just talk to them for a minute before mentioning that he has a really cool friend that this person might like. There’s no magic, Matteo knows that. David’s just good at getting people to open up. Matteo knows all of this.

David’s at the bar now, hip cocked against the bar and giving this random girl a bright smile.

He looks so good, and Matteo wishes he was back at their table, smiling at Matteo like that.

“This won’t take long,” Carlos says. “I’ve got a good feeling about this one.”

“Ooh, yeah, I think he’s already in,” Jonas is saying. “Seriously, he’s a fucking wizard or something.”

The girl’s leaning even closer to David now, seemingly listening intently to what he’s got to say about Abdi.

“There’s my wingman,” Abdi is literally sitting on the edge of his seat.

The girl throws her hair back as she laughs. She reaches up to David’s nose, she’s that tiny, and she’s putting her hand on his upper arm now, to steady herself as she looks up at him.

Something suddenly shifts though. David’s smile slowly falters ever so slightly, and he’s looking more confused than anything else now. The girl grabs a paper and pen from her purse and is writing something down.

“Oooh, she’s giving him her number,” Abdi says, obviously too focused on the girl to see that David’s looking slightly off.

David doesn’t look like a man who’s succeeding in his mission.

He’s shaking his head at her, smiling again but a lot less sure. She tucks the piece of paper in his shirt pocket and tilts her head to the side. Matteo can’t know for sure what she’s saying, but David’s blushing now. He steps away from her with a last smile and makes his way back to the table.

“So, how’d it go?” Abdi asks, grinning from ear to ear.

“Uhm,” David sits back down next to Matteo and carefully says: “I don’t think this girl’s gonna be the one, Abdi. Sorry.”

He’s met with three very confused and shocked faces.

“What happened?” Carlos asks. “You’ve never struck out _before_ introducing anyone to Abdi before.”

“Hey,” Abdi says to Carlos. “Shut up.”

“She didn’t give you her number?” Jonas asks.

“She did, just not for Abdi,” Matteo says.

It’s taking the other three a lot longer to come to the right conclusion than it did Matteo.

“She was hitting on David,” Matteo says.

Abdi lets out a scandalized gasp.

“She just-” David starts. “It’s just not gonna work out tonight, Abdi. Sorry.”

Matteo reaches into David’s shirt pocked and pulls out the piece of paper. It’s a phone number and Cindy written under it. The i’s dotted with a heart. 

It’s an ugly feeling, that goes through Matteo now. It’s like the ants all over again, making their way across everything inside of him, except it’s not a sweet feeling this time. It feels a bit hopeless.

“Can we drop it?” David mutters, putting his face in his hands. He’s not even looking at Matteo.

“You told her you weren’t interested though, right?” Jonas asks.

“Yeah,” David says, but it sounds more like a question.

“She’s still looking this way,” Carlos says, suddenly.

“Holy shit, you’re right,” Abdi replies.

“You did _tell her_?” Jonas asks again.

“Yes,” David says more firmly. “She was very _persistent_.”

“Great,” Matteo says. 

"Luigi, kiss your boyfriend so this chick gets the message," Jonas says, waving his bottle of beer between Matteo and David impatiently.

Like they should get on with it and put on a show.

"What? No," Matteo says.

"Dude, way harsh," Abdi says.

Matteo takes another gulp from his beer.

"I'll kiss you, man," Abdi offers. 

"Stop, you're not kissing him," Matteo says.

"It’s fine. Thank you, Abdi," David says. 

"No problem, that's what bros are for."

"Bros don't kiss other bros’ boyfriends," Matteo says. 

"Well, if you won't step up!" Abdi says, clearly annoyed now. 

"This is so fucking stupid, I'm gonna grab another drink," Matteo mumbles, getting out of his chair and trying to make his way through the crazy amount of loud and obnoxious bar goers.

Matteo can feel his shoulders locking up, every person he has to walk into feels like they're literally rubbing him the wrong way. Everything is just getting too much, too loud. 

He finds a spot at the bar to lean on. The bar staff is too busy to notice him straight away and that suits Matteo just fine at the moment.

"Dude," he hears from behind him. Jonas' hand lands on his shoulder and Matteo has to put effort into not shrugging him off. He takes three deep breaths and allows Jonas' touch to ground him. 

"You want a beer as well?" Matteo asks. 

"Matteo, are you okay?" 

"Yeah, fuck. Just. What the fuck, you know?" 

"Dude," Jonas laughs. "It’s fine. There’s no need to be _jealous_. David was just trying to help out a helpless case.”

"And look what it got him," Matteo says. 

"Yeah, but he's sweet for trying, isn’t he?"

"Sure.”

"It’s fine if you’re jealous just go easy on your boyfriend, yeah?”

Matteo feels himself tense up again. He hates it when people tell him what he can and can’t feel. Hates that Jonas just gave him permission to feel whatever over the fact that his boyfriend just got a girl’s phone number and left it in his pocket. Where she put it herself.

" _Sure_ ," Matteo finally catches the eye of one of the bartenders and orders himself and Jonas another beer. 

"Okay, let's go back and have fun, yeah?"

Matteo turns back to tell Jonas he wants to stay here for a minute longer, but his eyes almost immediately fall on David, standing a couple of meters away. The same girl from earlier is twirling a lock of her hair around her finger flirtatiously while her other hand's on David’s arm again.

Abdi has the worst taste in girls. 

Matteo walks back to their table, where from the looks on Abdi and Carlos' faces, they also saw David and the girl talking. Again. 

"He just went to go to the bathroom," Carlos says immediately. 

"She came out of nowhere," Abdi says. "She's like a sexy ninja." 

"Do you want me to go say something?" Jonas asks him. 

Matteo stares at him. "What would you go and say?" 

"Stop hitting on my bro's boy?" 

"Yeah, we can go say something," Abid agrees, nodding. They look so earnest and genuine that it’s making Matteo feel _worse_ , somehow.

"He's coming back, he's coming back!" Carlos says suddenly. 

David returns to the table with big, confused eyes and Matteo gets up from his seat again so he doesn’t have to deal with all of this in front of his friends quite yet. "I'm gonna go take a piss." 

\--

Matteo's aggressively washing his hands when David comes to find him in the bathroom. 

“Hey,” David says.

Matteo locks eyes with him for a second through the big mirror over the sinks, before looking back down at his hands.

"Are you mad at me?" David asks, arms crossed over his chest, already defensive. 

"No," Matteo shrugs. 

"You're a shit liar."

"And you're shit at telling people that you aren't interested, apparently." 

"I did tell her. I told her I have a boyfriend." 

"Apparently that wasn’t enough to stop her from going up to you again.”

David's cheeks flush and what the fuck does that mean? 

"What?" Matteo asks.

"She said you could join in,” David says.

And for a long couple of seconds Matteo thinks David is actually asking him to go and have a threesome with this girl.

Then David continues and says: “Which was so out of left field, I honestly didn’t really know how to respond. I'd already told her I wasn’t interested!”

“Okay,” Matteo says. “So what did you say?”

“I told her no. I told her that you’re gay.” Which doesn’t really sound like: _I told her I’m not interested_ , but more like: _you’re the reason why we can’t have a threesome tonight_.

"Great,” Matteo's torn the paper towels in his hands almost completely into shreds. 

\---

“I think I’m going home,” he tells the guys when he gets back to the table. “I’ll pay you back for the beers.”

“What, no come on, we’re celebrating my performance!” Jonas says, pulling at Matteo’s arm until he reluctantly plops down on his chair again.

“Sorry,” Matteo shrugs.

"I still don’t understand!" Carlos sputters. "You don't have to leave! Just kiss him! Stake your claim, or something." 

"My _claim_?" Matteo asks.

Has Carlos been reading his mom's third grade romance novels again? 

"Matteo doesn't have to kiss me if he doesn't want to," David says and that's not what this is about at all. 

When Matteo glances over at David, he looks upset. Even as miserable as Matteo is feeling himself, that's always the opposite of what he wants.

The thing is that Matteo can't even blame the girl for hitting on David. Matteo does that as well, enthusiastically and often. It’s just that Matteo never thought it would be like this. He figured he never had to lie awake, worrying about being left behind again. It’s not even that he thinks David would really do that to him. David going behind his back to go and hook up with the blonde from the bar is completely improbable and would never happen, and _still_ Matteo feels like shit.

It’s just those ants in his chest. He never thought it could feel like this.

“Oh fuck,” Abdi says. “She’s coming – yeah, she’s definitely headed in this direction.”

David’s eyes widen and Jonas looks like he’s ready to actually _say something to her_. And Matteo’s body seems to make a decision before his mind can, and he leans into David and kisses him.

Jonas does a little whoop, to make the whole situation just that little bit more awkward. But David reaches out and puts his hand in Matteo's hair, and Matteo pulls back just enough to whisper: "I always _want_ to kiss you." 

David kisses him again. 

When they pull back, the other three guys are looking at them with soppy smiles and fuck, gross. "Stop," Matteo complains. 

"It worked though!" Jonas says proudly. "She left.”

“Like I said: you gotta stake your claim,” Carlos adds.

“ _Stop_ ,” Matteo groans again. 

It's David who gets up from his seat now and tells the guys: "I think we should go."

They all seem to accept this a lot easier from David than they did from Matteo, and bid them goodnight. 

\---

Matteo isn’t sure if Laura is already in bed, or if she’s just not there, but all the lights are out when they arrive at David’s and Matteo stays quiet until they get to David’s room. He stays quiet in David’s room as well, sitting at the edge of David’s bed and looking at his hands.

“Do you want something to drink?” David asks him, sitting down next to Matteo on the bed but not touching him anywhere. That's pretty unlike them. Their friends always give them shit for not being able to sit next to each other like normal people, but instead always being all over each other. 

“No,” Matteo says.

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?” David asks.

No. Matteo shrugs.

"Are you still mad at me then?" David pushes. 

“It’s just jealousy, yeah?” Matteo says. “But it’s over now.”

“Is it?”

“We left the bar, didn’t we?”

“And that means it’s over?” David asks. “I wasn’t going to call her, or take her up on any offers. I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know,” Matteo says, and he means it.

“I hate that you're angry at me over this,” David says. “It was awkward and I’m sorry it happened, but I didn’t _mean_ for it to happen.”

Matteo suddenly wishes he’d accept that drink because his throat feels like it’s closing up on him. David looks so upset and Matteo suddenly wonders if this is how it’s going to start. If David’s going to start figuring out all the things Matteo is and isn’t, all the pieces of himself Matteo would never want him to see. He doesn’t know where the thoughts come from, but suddenly they’re there, and now he can't stop them.

"Don't you trust me?" David asks. 

"Of course I trust you," Matteo replies immediately, honestly. 

"Then what-?" David starts. 

"I don't know, it just sucked!" Matteo bursts out. "Some really attractive girl was flirting with you, and you were smiling at her and she was touching you and it just _sucked_. I don't know what else to say, I just feel like _shit_." 

“Hey,” David says, leaning closer and putting his hands on Matteo’s arms. 

"Sorry," Matteo says, breathing is a little bit harder now. Embarrassingly enough he realizes he's probably a couple of breaths away from crying. David can probably tell because his whole face kind of falls and he leans even closer. 

“I love you so much,” David whispers. “You’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, no matter how _cliché_ that sounds. It’s actually super pathetic. I don’t notice other people, I only notice you. I didn’t notice that she was flirting with me, and not listening to my _great_ Abdi pitch, because the thought didn’t even cross my mind like – what? Why would she be flirting with me? I am so uninterested.”

David curls his hands around the sides of Matteo’s neck and touches their foreheads together. “I’m only interested in you. I want this _forever_ , Matteo.”

Matteo fists his hands in David’s shirt.

The ants are back as well. They’re making a _mess_ of his insides, but it’s feels a bit better again. Hopeful.

Matteo doesn’t know what to reply to all those lovely words, so he just says: “I love you too.”

David kisses him and Matteo wants this forever as well.

They crawl under the covers and shut out the world. They kiss under the sheets like they did their first night together in this bed, and Matteo hides his face in David’s throat and shuts out everything that isn’t them.

Matteo can’t be sure how much time passes, but it feels like hours later when he feels like he can breathe again. David goes and gets him that glass of water, and runs his hands gently through Matteo's hair when he's finished it all. 

"Better?" David asks. 

"Yeah," Matteo replies. Maybe just slightly embarrassed, but definitely better. 

"And hey," David tells him, scrunching up his nose and smiling at him. "I get jealous too sometimes."

"When do you get jealous?" Matteo asks. _Why_ do you get jealous, he wants to ask. 

"When we get drinks at Starbucks on campus." 

Matteo doesn't follow one bit.

"I knew you didn't know," David laughs. "The barista is always flirting with you, acts like I don't even exist."

" _Tommy_?" Matteo asks. 

David nods. "He's so into you and I hate him."

"Is that why we don't go there anymore?" Matteo asks. 

"Yeah," David shrugs. "I was afraid I was going to punch him if I had to live through him flirting with you, and getting my order wrong on purpose, one more time." 

"Oh my god," Matteo whispers. "I didn't know." 

David accepts the kiss Matteo gives him, lying down on the bed again and pulling Matteo on top of him. 

"Is that why he always gave me a bigger size drink for free?" Matteo wonders.

"I swear to god, if you're thinking about some other guy while we're about to have sex." 

"I was thinking about the drinks!" Matteo says, grinning cause he can't help it. 

"Okay, okay, now come on, kiss me."

Happily.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also [on tumblr](https://bruisingknees.tumblr.com/), if you want to come say hi!


End file.
